NDN Collective Changemaker Fellowship
NDN Collective Changemaker Fellowship - 2023/24 Changemaker Fellow - Read Full Article
I Am My Ancestors
ʔukłaamaḥ Aamiitlaa, Huupač̓asʔuksup Ḥuučuqƛisʔuksup Nuučaan̓uuɫɁatḥ, Histaqšiƛaḥ tsuu-ma-as. Good Day, I am Ricky-Lee Watts, also named Aamiitlaa, meaning "blessed one" in Nuučaan̓uł. I am Nuučaan̓uł through my mother, and my father’s ancestry is unknown.
I am the ancestral connections I carry through my mother, Molly Watts, and my father, the late Rick Watts, who braved incredible challenges throughout their lives. My mother endured the insufferable impacts of colonization, residential school, sexual abuse, and other traumas; my father withstood hardships of foster care abuse, his teenage years growing up on the streets of Montreal, and afflictions associated with drug use. It is essential to name their circumstances as they inform who I am today.
Through my upbringing as an emerging leader in my community, I’ve overcome many circumstances. I honour my ancestors and communities that held steadfast to their teachings during periods of upheaval and disruption. Their strength, dreams, and wisdom further empower me to help create a more equitable and sustainable world for my nation—a world that practices decolonization and embodies interconnectedness.
In my life, there was a time I didn’t feel seen, heard, or valued. A time in which I never saw much of a bright future, let alone a future. Conflicted in my identity, grappling with grief, and navigating colonial systems I did not yet understand, I felt so lost and alone. I didn't believe in myself, and I didn't have much faith in life. Yet, there was a moment when someone believed in me, and as I grew more connected to my identity, there were glimmers of light that appeared rather than chasms of darkness. These glimmers of light became hope, opportunity, and belief that I could, just maybe, work through the pain, see a brighter future, and cultivate this into being. These glimmers of light cascaded and opened up new possibilities. I am humbled, blessed, and grateful that I have done some truly unique things in my life thus far that I never would've imagined possible.
Walking forward with love, curiosity, passion, and dedication, I want to help our people and the planet. I want to instill healing, growth, and hope. Being the change I want to see in the world, I am now the role model I needed when I was younger.
Nuučanuł means “all along the mountains and sea,” and Hupačasath means “people residing above the water.” In the Pacific Northwest, I come from a place connected to the ocean, rivers, salmon, old-growth rain forests, mountains, cedar medicine, and natural abundance. We have a ceremonial culture characterized by potlatch and many values that deeply permeate our ways of being, such as ʔiisaak and hišukʔiš c̓awaak—respect for all creation having a common origin and that everything is one.
To this present moment, I’m deeply honoured and grateful for all the experiences I’ve partaken in and humbled by the impact created and kinship cultivated. Still, due to many factors, I am grievously burnt out from the emotional labour, countless hours, and a hyper-engaged sympathetic nervous system. Every hour of the day, I optimized my actions and habits to ensure I could successfully and effectively complete my tasks for the numerous roles I participated in. This was at the cost of my health and spirit, and without enough support to sustain my impact in these spaces, I’m here now, exhausted, reflecting on what’s next. As part of attending the Assembly of First Nations (AFN) Climate Gathering last week, I became incredibly emotionally relieved to hear of the ChangeMaker’s Fellowship. Finally, I thought. This is needed for Indigenous talent driving so hard to create the impact we want to see in the world; I cried in learning that this is being offered.
I dream of ways I can most effectively serve my communities, transform pain into beauty, and positively make an impact. From personal, professional, and educational experiences, I have notebooks filled with ideas, conversations, and new possibilities. I believe this is a time in my life where beholding such an opportunity will be a powerful catalyst, igniting the fire in my soul and allowing me to heal, restore, and grow more than I can fully comprehend. With deep reflection and honouring the call to my spirit, I intuitively believe in this alignment and its influence on my future, our communities, and the world.
It seems that the creator is putting forward a new pathway before me. Writing this is an opportunity to reflect. I pray that with support, I may finally effectively create space for healing, well-being, and cultivating abundance within so that I may continue to share my love, gifts, and talent powerfully with our people and the planet.
A Step Forward. A Moment of Gratitude. A Time to Heal and Grow.
What a time to be alive. Reflecting on this incredible honour of being chosen as an NDN Changemaker Fellow, I’m in awe. I’m in awe of all my experiences to date and the journey that has led me here to this moment. This support breathes life into my being.
Embracing this moment brings an immense sense of relief to my nervous system. Over the past two years, I’ve been intensively in a state of doing with a hyper-engaged sympathetic nervous system. My capacity was completely stretched, eventually erupting into a state of burnout.
Moving forward, I’m learning to release the tension in my body to effectively connect, learn, grow, and uplift our communities. It’s not easy releasing habits of unwavering, passionate determination in which I continually seek to champion new projects and advocacy work. This will always burn brightly in my heart, spirit, and being, for it gives me life. However, I want to do this sustainably, and if the lessons of these past couple of years taught me anything, it’s how critical our health is. In particular, I’m learning about the nervous system and its relation to my overall well-being and relationships.
I’m looking forward to nurturing more of my state of ‘being’ rather than always ‘doing’, knowing that this complex and beautiful balance is essential and that an empowered and healthier state of being will lead to a more significant impact in my work. Also, I am simply learning to create peace, love, belonging, health, and connection within myself and others.
This marks an opportunity to make a significant shift in my nervous system. I’m grateful to the NDN Collective Changemaker Fellowship, my ancestors, and all those I’m connected to in this journey. I’m eager to embrace ways of being more conducive to a healthier nervous system, a healthier me, and a more sustainable life that inspires dreaming and making these dreams a reality.
In my passion for making an impact, I neglected my holistic health. What were once faint whispers from my body to slow down soon escalated into alarm, signalling me to make a change. Rather than maintaining the fierce determination to continue everything I was doing, I needed to step back and listen to my body. What I was doing was unsustainable. I felt exhausted, under-resourced, burnt out, and alone. Progressively, I'm so happy I've made changes and grateful to be where I am now. Transforming the pain into growth, beauty, and joy, one experience at a time.
In these past two years, some times were stormy & insane, times full of light & hope, and times in which I felt shackled, stuck, and at a loss… seeing my energy continue to dwindle. Still, my need to persevere to overcome the intensity continued… and so I did. Perhaps the outcome on the other side of this storm wasn't what I expected, but maybe the journey unfolded EXACTLY as it was meant to. Allowing what is NOW to manifest. Oh, so, beautifully!
Acts of self-preservation and self-care are so important. In ways, it is a means of political warfare, shifting social norms away from a Western capitalistic culture that derives value in profit, an extrinsic motivator with money as an example. Instead, self-care and things that please our nervous system are a shift toward intrinsic motivation, which is also holistically more self-sustaining, fulfilling, meaningful, and joyous. They’re intertwined. Additionally, self-care and deep breathing are a way of honouring our ancestors. Thinking about all my ancestors did to persevere and bring me to life makes more sense to honour my being holistically by tending to, loving, and nourishing my nervous system.
In my youth, I learned many things that have led me to where I am today. It’s essential to take a moment to appreciate this, to pause and review what I’ve done, and to lean into this new empowered chapter. This is a time to take care of my nervous system as I breathe in the present and dream of the future. This year ahead, I choose to live life and experience it more fully.